Okay. I need to breathe for a second. Sort out my thoughts. Try and figure out what to make of this jumble of emotions I am feeling right now...
5 Stars. It was sadistic.... it was traumatizing.... it was down right painful to read... But god, I loved it. Damn it all, I freakin loved this book.
My first thought after finishing up this gripping story: Is there something seriously wrong with me? Why would I actually enjoy reading this book? Why do I think this is now going straight to my "favorites" book shelf? Is my brain not working correctly? How could I possibly give this book 5 stars after seriously wanting to chuck my kindle across the room?
Well, I don't know if there is something seriously wrong with me... All I know is that this book captivated me from the very beginning to very end.
He was the monster that no one thought to look for in the light of day. It was a common mistake. People often believed they were safer in the light, thinking monsters only came out at night. But safety - like light - is a facade. Underneath, the whole world is drenched in darkness.
Meet the gorgeous daylight monster, Caleb (Keleb, "Dog"). He didn't look like the type of man a girl should fear. In fact, to Livvie- he was salvation. He was the man she ran to when another was seeking to cause her harm. That's how she met Caleb. Running away from a stalking man and throwing herself into the arms of another. Throwing herself into what she didn't know at the time- was simply another predator.
Caleb new he needed a pretty American girl. They were were the most desirable and he needed the best if he was going to get to the man he was destined to kill- the man he had been waiting and trained to kill since he was just a young boy. He knew that this girl, Livvie, or as he likes to call her "Kitten" would be perfect for his needs.
He had chosen a beautiful submissive. And what was a submissive if not adaptable - if not a survivor?
Meet Livvie. Livvie has had a rough life. A mother that doesn't love her and insists that Livvie is a whore. A father that is no longer around and the memories that she does have are all hurtful. She has a number of brothers and sisters- she is seemingly not close to any of them. All she can do is try to survive, try to make her mother love her- try to prove to herself that she is not a whore.
That's when she's captured by the very man she has been fantasizing about since she ran into him. Believing that he was one of the good guys- only to find out he's from her very worst nightmare.
Yet is he?
Livvie seems to be two different people. She's strong and feisty yet at times she's shy and submissive. When she just can't take any more- she lashes out becoming more like a lion than the "kitten" name her captive has given her.
It would seem as if Livvie can't be broken- yet that's exactly what Caleb needs from her. He needs to break her down. He needs her to give into his every command. He needs her to do without question, to stop fighting him. But it's against her nature to allow herself to become this for him... Will she? Will she be what Caleb needs her to be?
Kitten and the Dog... How fitting are those names? They seem to go together dont they? But do they really? Are those two animals not opposites? Or do those two things belong together? They are both animals. Not humans. No no, not humans.
A dog can be trained to attack. A dog can be trained to kill under command. A dog can be viscous if not loved and cared for. Is this was Caleb has become? Has he become the name that his capture had given him?
Kittens... Small dainty little things.. Mewing when upset or hurt, purring when happy and content. Kittens are sweet, docile creatures. When faced against a dog- would they ever stand a chance? Sure they have nails- they can lash out. They can cause some harm, do a bit of damage- stand up for it's tiny self. But when it comes down to it... It's still just a small, innocent animal. In the end the kitten would lose the fight against the dog. Is this Livvie. Is she now exactly what her capture has named her... a Kitten.
That's Caleb and Livvie's relationship. Cat vs Dog.
The relationship between the two is obviously confusing. At the beginning Livvie runs to him for safety! Even after she's been captured by him- she still seeks his arms when other men threaten her. She wants Calebs arms wrapped around her.
There are times where Caleb does things to her that just make you want to jump into this book and strangle is psychotic ass... He does things that are humiliating, painful, and all around frightening.
There were times I felt like I was Livvie... I felt trapped, i couldnt move, I couldnt breathe, couldnt speak... Because if she did she would be punished and there was absolutely nothing she nor I could do about it... So, I did the only thing I could possibly do in this situation- I continued to read.
My final thoughts
This book made me uncomfortable. It was dark, horrific, challenging, and dangerous. It was disgusting and disturbing. It pissed me off.
I don't like Caleb.
His past now dictates who he is- and that bothers me. He knows what he is doing to Livvie is going to break her soul. He knows this because he has experiences it. He knows what it's like to be humiliated time after time... To have your choices chosen FOR you. He knows what it's like to be beaten. He knows what it's like to be sold to man after man for sex. He knows all of this- has feelings for Livvie, yet he still plans on going through with selling her to the worst of them all?
I hate him.
I may go back and edit this review in a few days when I've had more time to process